Thursday, June 18, 2009

Heartless Rocker Chicks: A Common Misconception

There comes a lot of baggage with carrying a rocker chick persona. There's this belief we have to be tough man eaters, crush egos, and be heartless. I guess for as long as I can remember I've taken pride on raising myself that way. Like the songs I've heard from Joan Jett to Alanis Morrissette, I thought the best way to deal with matters of the heart and hurt emotions was well, to lash out. While I thought perhaps I was empowering myself, I might have hurt others along the way. Now don't get me wrong, I won't shed tears on people who don't deserve them or blame myself for things I feel weren't my fault. But when I'm wrong, I'm wrong.

See my problem is that I put up walls around me and I hurt others emotionally before they can hurt me. I put up a tough girl act with a devil-may-care attitude to drive people away. Now after learning a tough lesson I've realized that the act just isn't working out for me anymore.

But that is where the beauty behind music and writing comes in. It serves as an outlet for those negative emotions. Musicians and writers open themselves to the world with written words rather than spoken to face to face. Speaking personally, sometimes it can make me feel vulnerable. It's times like this where I wish I was more of a professional musician and have the ability to write a song. Infact...

As of this moment, I-Angelica Castillo, will attempt to write a song. Yes. I just got this crazy idea right now! I have never in my entire life attempted to do such a thing. But hey, if I've got to do this to prove a point, to show the world that I'm no longer heartless and dead inside, then so be it.

I will give myself one full month(not counting my vacation week haha). My deadline will be July 25th. This tough cookie is trading her boxing gloves in for a pen to write some lyrics.Wish me luck!



Tiffany said...

Hey Ang,

Good luck. I know you can do it. Just push all your emotions on to that paper and I'm sure It'll be hot.

Anonymous said...

Good luck! You can do it!